If I Could Be
by 76Mute99
Summary: Edward left and Bella is changed but something goes wrong she is different, and she does not remember her life before. What happens when she meets a new man will he accept her? What happens if Edward comes back? Please be nice first fic. M for Lemons


_**If I Could Be**_

_**Chapter1: the hunt**_

_**Running my hand through my waist length hair, as I looking up at the clouds in the sky, I knew what I was about to do was wrong, but I needed it, I needed the blood, and I couldn't wait any longer. Jumping up on to one a tree branches above to wait for my pry, I looked down at the snow covered ground, listening, and then I could hear them, hear them coming, hear their hearts betting. They were still too far to see but I knew they were coming. I could feel them coming closer, running to me, running to the death I would bring them. There were three of them, which would help; I would not have to feed for another two months. Minutes passed and then I could see them, two males and one woman. They didn't smell like they should; not at all, and something was off. I was too hungry to care and I needed them, their blood pumping through their veins, it was pulling me to them, I needed it. **_

_**Jumping to the next tree branch, getting closer to them, I debated which one I should go for first. The little blond girl, her age about 15, she must have so much to live for and I was going to take it all away from her. I was going to take her life, for my own needs, but that's what my kind did, they were cruel, so why should I be any different? No I knew I was different I was not like them but I was 'Back to the hunt, you need this' the little voice in my head was screaming, and It was right.**_

_**Should I take the men's life first make the little girl watch; yes I will kill the men first. But which one the tall blonde with the mussels, he would be a lot more fun and it'll be worth the struggle, but then again I may fail. The black haired boy would be fun, he had fewer mussels, and he wouldn't fight as much it would be quicker. Yes him first, and then the others. With my decision made I jumped off the branch slowly flying to the ground, this was going to be easy they haven't heard me yet, it's always was I quick bite and lots of screaming and then I can go back to my life for a few more weeks till I have to come back out here to feed, killing more people so that I can live and that's all I needed them, to live and with that I started my hunt.**_

_**One step towards them, and in a flash I was up against the tree, I had just jumped out of, okay so maybe it's not as easy as I thought, but maybe I can have a little fun with this one, my food never fights back not like they could hurt me anyway. The tall blonde guy had his hand wrapped around my neck; he was burning hot, hotter than any human I have ever feed from.**_

_**He places his lips close to my ear, "you think you can sneak up on us you filthy bloodsucker" he whispered into my ear. As I thrashed against his hold and pulling at his hand, not a single movement, how could this be possible? He was human he had blood and heart beat. This was not possible; they couldn't be like me or my kind. His hand tightened around my neck, I couldn't breathe, and my eyes start to close my mind slipping away. I was going in and out of consensuses. **_

"_**Casper listen, its heart I can hear it, its beating", it was the girls voice, musical like; so beautiful. A voice like hers would've belonged to my kind but she was human, wasn't she. **_

_**The hand around my neck loosened, how could they hear me? Or my heart, for fuck sack they are humans and humans cannot do this shit that these people were doing. I started to breathe again, my vision coming back. Maybe I was going to get out of this, but to soon the hot hand tightened again and I was slowly starting to slip away again.**_

"_**Casper didn't you hear me, it has a fucking heart beat", the girl said again, and she was right, my cover was slipping away with me, I was changing back, it was a horrible feeling and without the blood I was going to be so weak . **_

_**I was losing me strength my legs giving out from under me. Casper, as the girl had called him was still holding me, his hand loosening again.**_

_**He let out a growl. "I heard you**__** Nuna but T**__**his is not possible it has to be a trick", he was looking at me in the eyes, as I tried to keep them open; "vampires don't have hearts they are cold and hard" he let out another growl, loosening his grip a little more. How did he know?**_

_**My lungs were screaming at me I needed air, more then I needed the blood. Tears started to roll down my face, looking in the Casper's eyes.**_

"_**P - Please", I said stuttering, with the lack of air I had I was willing to beg. I would if he asked me to, all I wanted was air. Something in his eyes changed, and maybe because I was, now fully human I don't know, as he let me go I fell to the forest floor, snow all through my hair and over my clothes. I took long deep breathe, as much as my lungs could hold. I pulled myself up; I sat there for a few minutes looking at the ground.**_

"_**What are you" Casper said in an even tone, I didn't know if I should tell them. Sure I was different, I was not a vampire, I was not human I was some were in between and I didn't know which one I would prefer to be, which one would keep me safe.**_

"_**What do you think I am" I said with the bitches voice I could manage as I finally looked up at them. Casper didn't look happy with my comment. The black hair boy laughed, as the girl **__**Nuna**__** shock her head making her blond hair fly. **_

"_**That's the fucking thing I don't know, one fucking second I'm about to kill a bloodsucking vampire and then I'm holding a human", he growled passing back and forth in front of , and then something changed his body tensed and stoping , kneeling down and getting in my face. "So one more time what are you" he said his voice getting louder with each word **_

_**I shrank back in to the tree, it was hard being a human knowing about vampires, but I was a human that could change in to one. Right now I felt so weak and stupid, because I was scared of him.**_

"_**I will tell you what I am" I said standing up trying to look tough, holding on to the tree for support cc. "Only if you tell me what you are." I thought it was an easy traded.**_

_**Casper smirked taking a step closer. "Okay that's easy, I'm human". Ha did he really think I was going to take that as an answer.**_

_**I rolled my eyes, but before I could say anything, the black haired boy cut me off.**_

"_**Casper just tell her, we don't have time for this we have a job to do" his voice rough taking a step closer the little blond girl, keeping his eyes on me the whole time.**_

_**Casper looked back at him for a second. "This is our job**__** Mahpee**__**, if she is a vampire we have to kill her." His voice was hard; there was something he was hiding.**_

"_**I'm both" I don't know why I told them and I don't know what will happen but something in his voice, the way he was talking about vampires, about me.**_

_**They looked at me like I was crazy, shit maybe I was.**_

"_**My name is Bella; I was changed when I was 19, about 13 years ago, during my change something went wrong and here I am. I need blood to survive, I feed about once a mouth, when I get hungry I start to change in to a vampire, once I have feed I turn back in to a human. I don't remember anything before my change, and I don't remember who changed me, just waking up in an old house with dirty clothes on and a silver bracelet with my name, that was it. I feed off humans and I hate it. I- I think" **_

_**I took a deep breath and then continued, "It's like having to people in me, it's hard to explain" I was looking at them, when I finished I was scared, were they going to kill me now.**_

"_**That unbeli-", Casper's voice was cut off by a loud crack as a tree to my right broke.**_

_**Looking up their stood three male vampires, the blond in the middle looked so similar to Casper, they had the same face and same height but Casper had more mussels. The one to the right was bi-, no big wasn't good enough HUGE was the right word, he had light brown curly hair, and the one on the left was smaller than the other two with copper looking hair. He took a step toward us looking at me like I was a glost**_

"_**Bella is that, is that really you" he was talking to me, how did he know my name, but his voice, I've heard it before, it was like remembering a dream. Looking at all three of them, I was so scared mostly because they knew my name, but their eyes were a golden black. They were hungry and I was in my human form.**_

_**I looked at them once more and then to Casper, Nuna and **__**Mahpee**__**, they were all shaking badly. **_

"_**Casper" I said reaching out I don't know why but I felt like I needed to touch him. I was centimetres away when he jumped, turning in to a giant wolf in mid air, hitting the copper hired vampire.**_

" _**No, please don't hurt him please" I yelled, if that vampire hurt Casper I would ripe every piece of their body's up, and dance around them and watch the fire burn, because something in me needed him, I don't know why, and I don't know how but I needed him more than blood.**_

_**Watching them all fight, I was frozen, my body was not strong enough to change in to a vampire after not having the blood during my last change.**_

_**Then I heard it the thing that made me to die, a high pitch cracking noise. And then Casper's body going limp, his body changing back in to human, I had to look away looking at Nuna in her wolf form, she was crying.**_

_**I was slipping away my mind going black, and then nothing. **_

Hope you like :)


End file.
